Eminem - Criminal(2001)

[00:02.45] A lot of people ask me
[00:04.90] Stupid fuckin' questions
[00:08.63] A lot of people think that
[00:10.97] What I say on record
[00:12.86] Or what I talk about on a record
[00:15.05] That I actually do in real life
[00:17.93] Or that I believe in it
[00:20.25] Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that
[00:24.24] I'm actually gonna do it
[00:25.90] Or that I believe in it
[00:29.26] Well, shit
[00:30.67] If you believe that, then I'll kill you
[00:34.91] You know why?
[00:38.18] 'Cause I'm a criminal!
[00:42.85] Criminal!
[00:45.91] You're goddamn right
[00:47.53] I'm a criminal!
[00:52.31] Yeah, I'm a criminal!
[00:57.07] My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
[00:59.19] That'll stab you in the head
[01:00.59] Whether you're a fag or lez
[01:01.69] Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
[01:03.92] Pants or dress, hate fags?
[01:05.53] The answer's "yes"
[01:06.48] Homophobic?
[01:07.36] Nah, you're just heterophobic
[01:08.64] Starin at my jeans, watchin' my genitals bulgin'
[01:10.91] That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em
[01:13.49] They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em
[01:15.62] "Hey, it's me, Versace"
[01:17.29] "Whoops, somebody shot me!"
[01:18.45] "And I was just checkin' the mail"
[01:19.72] "Get it? Checkin' the male?"
[01:21.02] How many records you're expectin' to sell
[01:22.82] After your second LP sends you directly to jail?
[01:25.39] C'mon! Relax Guy, I like gay men
[01:27.77] Right, Ken? Give me an amen
[01:29.25] "Ayyy, men!"
[01:30.54] Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
[01:32.31] Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
[01:34.85] Oh and please send me a brand new car and a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
[01:39.10] Preacher, preacher, fifth grade teacher
[01:41.88] You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
[01:44.26] You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'cause
[01:46.48] I watch TV and Comcast cable
[01:48.84] And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
[01:51.38] You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
[01:53.42] And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
[01:55.85] With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards
[01:58.46] And to think, it's just lil ol' me
[02:00.61] Mr. Don't-Give-a-Fuck still won't leave
[02:02.95] I'm a criminal!
[02:03.35] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[02:06.93] I guess I'm a criminal!
[02:08.28] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[02:11.04] I don't take shit from no one
[02:12.39] I'm a criminal!
[02:12.93] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[02:16.34] I guess I'm a criminal!
[02:17.68] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[02:20.65] I don't take shit from no one
[02:21.63] The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed
[02:23.73] The baby came out, disfigured ligaments, indeed
[02:26.08] It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
[02:28.36] Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me
[02:30.75] I'm a criminal!
[02:31.87] An animal caged who turned crazed
[02:33.52] But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
[02:35.81] So as I got older and I got a lot taller
[02:38.21] My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
[02:40.54] I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ____
[02:45.26] My morals went "pffft" when the president got oral sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk off of his own employee
[02:50.02] Now, don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
[02:52.22] You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired and my nose is pointy
[02:54.73] I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him
[02:59.61] Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined
[03:02.57] "The maniac's in"
[03:03.82] Replacing the doctor 'cause Dre couldn't make it today
[03:06.03] He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his place
[03:08.43] Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
[03:11.08] Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
[03:13.35] I told you, Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
[03:15.69] I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
[03:17.94] Criminal!
[03:20.99] (Alright, look, just go up in that motherfucker)
[03:24.67] (Get the motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there)
[03:26.88] Alright
[03:27.48] (I'll be right here waitin' on you)
[03:28.40] Alright
[03:29.13] (Yo, Em!)
[03:30.17] What!?
[03:31.06] (Don't kill nobody this time!)
[03:32.36] Alright... goddamn, this fucker gets on my fuckin' nerves...
[03:39.21] (Hi!)
[03:40.64] How you doin'?
[03:41.32] (How can I help you?)
[03:41.97] Yeah, I need to make a withdrawal
[03:43.91] Put the fuckin' money in the bag, bitch, and I won't kill you
[03:46.45] (What?)
[03:47.68] (Oh my God, don't kill me!)
[03:48.13] I'm not gonna kill you, bitch! Quit fuckin' around...
[03:50.49] (Don't kill me, just please don't kill me!)
[03:51.55] I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you...
[03:53.06] (Don't kill me...)
[03:53.71] Hurry the fuck up!
[03:55.38] Thank you!
[03:55.97] Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
[03:57.99] So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it, so I'll be disguised in it
[04:01.51] And if anybody identifies the guy in it, I hide for five minutes
[04:04.90] Come back, shoot the eyewitness
[04:07.12] Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
[04:10.09] Die bitches, bastards, brats, pets
[04:12.46] This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
[04:14.32] If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
[04:16.73] Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
[04:19.35] You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut
[04:23.80] Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
[04:26.01] To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass
[04:28.64] And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
[04:30.80] I'mma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask
[04:33.44] I'm a criminal!
[04:33.82] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[04:37.37] I guess I'm a criminal!
[04:38.51] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[04:41.83] I don't take shit from no one
[04:42.62] I'm a criminal!
[04:43.23] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[04:47.01] I guess I'm a criminal!
[04:47.74] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[04:51.18] I don't take shit from no one
[04:52.00] I'm a criminal!
[04:52.58] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[04:56.28] I guess I'm a criminal!
[04:57.35] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[05:00.34] I don't take shit from no one
[05:01.30] I'm a criminal!
[05:01.94] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
[05:05.72] I guess I'm a criminal!
[05:06.79] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'
[05:09.85] I don't take shit from no one
[05:11.02] I'm a criminal!
[05:11.72]